south dakota... who would of thunk?

i decided i have a crush on abe lincoln... and i also learned that his life was changed when he got kicked in the head by a horse...

Full Moon Thingy

many thanks to heather for another enchanting full moon gathering... and i have no idea why this is all underlined... it is really bothering me... so much so that i am going to let the photos do the talking... i dont really have anything to add anyway... except that it was an interesting mix of people and i really enjoyed the evening... the end... more photos can bee seen here.

Next time you go to Taiwan will you please pick me up some rain gear... thanks

Asia is cool. Especially because they scoot scoot in all kinds of weather... well... I mean their only choices are rain, rain with lots of wind, sunny & hot and overcast & hot...

and I guess the occasional hail storm... maybe... i think that is only if you are climbing a large mountain on a small scoot scoot... what i am trying to say is janalie did that once and rode her scoot scoot in a hail storm up a winding Taiwan mountain road... i think she took a week or more and rode as much around the island as she could... janalie is cool...

anyways... back to me.

i want Chinese style rain gear...
i really appreciate the colors of the outfits you can hardly see... I think their outfits are kind of like these = When I was in Taiwan I had a rain outfit that was pretty awesome.
the boy wearing the white one is cute, but his rain gear would be too restricting on the scoot scoot...
the purple one seems the most functional...
and... sometimes i feel the need to imagine a world of only scoot scooting... so I thought I would share the vision...

thats all

...freedom is walking with nothing to hide from or behind

Easter weekend 1999 in the Tonto National Forest of Arizona... The clouds were different. .. I had been living in the wilderness for a year... I had never seen clouds like these...In that year I had spent more time in the desert under the stars than in civilization... My eyes used to hurt in grocery stores, and I slept better on the floor than in a bed. It was... so free... so needed... so life altering... it is a time in my life that i day dream about and wish i could go back to... but not enough to actually do it... it is a great piece of the past.

the clouds... they were not rain clouds... so i almost didn't build a shelter that night... when the boys asked if they should build shelters i just said, i am... just in case... do what you want

over the next two days that little part of the Arizona desert was covered in 3 feet of snow. It was April in Arizona... I had only packed a pair of shorts, a t-shirt and one long sleeve shirt...on the morning that we abandoned camp i remember being buried under my tarp, but i was warm... i had to pee so bad it ached... i couldn't sleep from the pain in my belly, but i wasn't moving from my little tanya snow cave because i was warm... i knew leaving my shelter meant exposing my self to the elements... and that the space that my body occupied would quickly cave in with snow as soon as i left it...

finally Jeramey Beals came over and said we were hiking out of camp and leaving everything behind... everything... i didn't even have shoe laces because i had used them to build my shelter... so we left... everything... including my little journal...

about four months later Melissa's group hiked across our once abandoned camp... she retrieved my journal, another book and a few pairs of wool socks.

my little journal... the pages had been eaten away by something... but i have it now... and today i was reading it... and i really like a line from the last entry... i am not sure what i was referring to... i tend to say something without saying anything when i journal...

but it says...

freedom is walking with nothing to hide from or behind

i don't know how free i am right now... but every day, week, year... i am getting better and better at walking with nothing to hide from or behind...

this is... oh so awesome! :)

this birthday will never end!!!

a few photos from pot-luck in the park RAW! No need to be afraid...

Linda kicked off her weekly summer pot- luck- in- the- park today... and in honor of me.... it was kind of my idea and she agreed to it... this birthday is never going to end :)

the menu included a delicious chocolate moose and cake... avocado ice cream and salad...

my colon appreciates the break i have given it today... it has defiantly been a week of feasting... and i really enjoy a great celebration... i also enjoy allowing myself to step back and be simple...

also i saw good friends... stood with John Bonner, Amy, Jimmy and unborn Zoe... i felt a lot of love from that exchange... almost made me weepy... i really value all of them... and am so excited to see my friend with child... and to see how much it has calmed her... like this new way is settling upon her... it is different... it is beautiful.... amazing... makes me excited to create life one day... beautiful Amy!

Domonia and LaNova... we all served in South Africa together... I am looking forward to spending time with both of them more this summer... what great memories flash back when I see them... ode to the days of long ugly dresses and meaningful work...

these are the only photos i have... but not the only images... (and... this is an edit... i just added two more photos... on the blanket... and blowing out the fake fire...)

let it be felt the gratitude and love i have for the good people that are around me!!! I am very lucky, loved and blessed!

happy birthday to me

i have cute nieces!

congratulations to me!!! finally... geez

for my birthday i graduated...

my two bestest friends at suu were chase and stephanie... stephanie... oh stephanie... she is the freest spirit i have ever come across... there really is no pinning this girl down... she wore a button on her gown that said, 'im naked under this'... she wasn't, but i wouldn't put it past her.... love her so much!!! and chase.... kind, good, salt of the earth chase... miss hanging out in the pottery lab with him and free dinner Thursdays at the episcopalian church... such a good person... and a good friend!

and since this is my graduation entry i will also mention Andrew Bamford's social theory class... where i met chase and stephanie... by far the best class i have taken... it actually made my brain hurt in a beautiful rewarding way... i love suu for these great friends and for bamford's social theory... but now i don't love suu because they were willing to let him leave without recognizing what an asset he really was to the university... when talking to friends suu doesn't sound impressive... someone actually told me that he wasn't intimidated by me because i went to suu... don't be fooled friends... i got a better education there than i did at USU, UVSC & BYU combined... i am not proud to say i attended a dinky university in southern utah where i was on average 10 years older than my classmates... but i am proud to say i made an A in social theory.... i am proud to say i graduated in sociology... and i know i kicked ass!

and my boyfriend Einstein... with that wild hair... man i have missed him... he is so dreamy...

look at me... i'm beautiful!

i commissioned a few portraits for my birthday... ryan sure knows how to capture my sense of style and and voluptuous lips... in reeceie poo's depiction i am all legs... both are pretty hot.

the babies

mandy and i were the babies... everyone called us that... we are a few years behind the first group - the spencer, chalice & ginger... so we were the babies... we really liked each other... when i wasn't being mean... believe it or not i was kind of a mean, whinny kid

this was our favorite bed time story... or book thing... i loved the story about the 5 brothers... each one had a magical something something... as payment for a debt one of the brothers was supposed to die... i think that is how it goes... but each brother took turns defying death... i thought it would be cool to be like the brother who could stretch his legs and stand on the ocean floor...

mandy and i liked to make drawings.... below are some self portraits... mine is way better !

Mandy's self portrait - at age 4

I remember looking at this and thinking... hmmmm.... she cant draw... i am a much better artist...

Tanya's self portrait - age 5

this is a beautiful princess... much better than Mandy's!