So I have decided to disappear as much as I can. The superficial social world that exists via the Internet overwhelms me. I go through phases where I realize how alienated I feel from interacting with “friends” through this medium. So, I disappear… I disappeared.
But here I am writing, because I feel like I have something to write. So much has happened and is happening. Not in the expected day to day. In fact for the last few weeks I have almost completely halted the day to day. Life has consisted of work and movies. I have watched so many movies that the guys at The Tower theater know me by name and they know I rent Russian and Iranian films.
So, I encountered some junior high drama the other night. I am not usually such a crybaby. It was cleansing me think... I haven’t cried so much since I let go of the last boy I loved. In this process the most amazing thing has happened. People have floated to the surface... my friends. My thoughts have roamed to people around me that should and will become friends. I have thought about my family. I even purchased a ticket to Portland to go see my sister in April and I am considering a trip to Houston in March.
On the other side of this sadness… a sadness that was strangely all consuming... I feel more grateful, loved and happy...
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6 comments:
thanks for sharing...you're not alone :)
thanks! :) and i know...
i liked this blog. im glad i get to be in on your online world
I've been peeking in looking for you. Glad you resurfaced a little.
I must have inherited that lone gene too. Been there. Love you.
Tanya, I finally successfully got into your blog. I haven't been spending much time pursuing blogs lately, but I got on tonight and thought I'd see if I couldn't read what was going on with you. I'm sorry for your loneliness, but I'm happy none of us is ever completely alone, and that God reminds us sometimes.
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