thanks tall, covered in leather from head to toe and not creepy stranger...

so when i was leaving the library tonight i was thinking about what it means to be powerful. why was i thinking this... earlier at one world cafe a guy sat down with me... he started writing on a note pad… this was our written conversation…

him: hi. how are you?
me: fine
him: i am fine. what is your name? my name is john
me: tanya. your food looks good.
him: yeah! do you work
me: yeah. at the road home
him: with homeless?
me: yes. what do you do?
him: looking for job. looking for woman to have a good time.
me: oh. good luck with that.
him: you married?
me: no
him: single?
me: yeah. sort of dating someone.... (this is one of those truths that is only about 10% true)
him: getting to know him.
me: yes.
(uncomfortable silence - he starts reading something)
me: what are you reading?
him: i read newspaper. i read on line. i read the occult
him again: i have met lucifer in my dreams
me: how was that?
him: i sold my soul
me: in your dream? okay. so how is that working for you?
him: i signed a contract
me: what do you get out of it?
him: he told me that the hebrew god is the god of goats... (and something else about lucifer being the real god)
me: oh. so Lucifer told you he was really god.
him: nothing. silence
me: interesting. i have to go. bye.

as i was leaving a server at one world asked me if john was bothering me... they explained that sometimes he sits with people who would rather be left alone. i said no, he just wanted to explain to me that he sold his soul to satan...

so... my point... power... the fact... and i say fact because i have experienced it... the fact that light is more powerful than darkness... so i was thinking about what it is about me that is powerful... trying to understand feminine power... what exactly is that... all of this rapidly rushing through my mind as i was leaving the library at closing time...

and then... i noticed a man in front of me... he was decked out from head to toe in black leather... i felt like he wanted to say hello... and also that that might not be okay... since i was alone... it was late... and he a stranger... a tall dark stranger... (see Staples, Just Walk on By)... but i could tell he was kind... maybe from the south where it is always expected that you hold the door open for a woman... i have had friends tell me that they have been accused of not treating women as equals when they try to open doors for them... so... perhaps my tall covered in leather stranger thought of these things and chose against closing in on my personal space... without acknowledging that he noticed my presence… as he walked out the door he pushed the handicap button on the other side that automatically opened the door for me...

thanks leathered man... you managed to show me respect without invading my personal space... I am grateful because this act of respect was in its truest form… as it was done in a manner that showed there was nothing in it for him… simply the act of thinking of someone else… me… thanks

p.s. i don’t think john has really joined forces with the dark side... he's harmless... just a little sensitive about being shot down... I know what dark/evil feels like… and john was a little off maybe… but I think the contract he signed with Satan can be re-negotiated.