I posted this little story on my friends dating blog...
During my short stretch in Provo a boy who lived in SLC told me that every girl in Provo thinks she has a stalker… He said that secretly the girls exaggerate harmless crushes because they lack excitement in their lives and want to think someone would be crazy enough to be obsessed with them… I said I felt left out because I never experienced what every other girl in Provo had… I wanted a stalker of my very own… I asked him if he would stalk me just to be nice. He said no… rude.
But… I kind of felt stalked recently… or not really… maybe??? Who knows? I don't know why I felt so left out back in P town… Being stalked to the extent that SLC boy said every girl in P-town is stalked is not that exciting… it is not flattering… it is just nothing… it is just sitting at a party and looking up to see someone giving me an empty subjective stare… the kind of stare that penetrates the crowd and window between… the stare that you only catch if you look up right in the moment when because of the way other peoples reflections on the window allow you to see the stalker instead of your own reflection… p.s. when I say words like you I mean me…
I actually doubt it really constitutes as stalking… more like plain old school staring… but the stare is totally a stalker stare… like I said… empty and objectifying… weird and sad… I guess it was something enough for me to write this… but the truth is… I have thought about it… and not because of any of the normal reasons … not that I know what exactly a normal reason for giving attention to a stalker is…it is because I feel sorry for my stalker… that's all…
I guess for the record he isn't a very thorough stalker… he will probably never read this… look in my windows or leave me breathy phone messages…none of the exciting stalker stuff…I think he is kind of a lazy opportunist stalker… ho-hum… just that empty stare… but... again… can it really be stalking if the only time I am the recipient of this stare is when there is nothing better to stalker stare at…
I guess I still long for my own personal P-town stalker… let me know if you or anyone you know is interested…
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5 comments:
Loved this post...still love your writing. I wish I was cool enough to even have your ho-hum stalker.
Tanya, why haven't you returned any of my breathy messages? Did you get them?
Or my breathy emails and text messages. Hopefully you got those two. I thought the 7th or 8th one I left you yesterday was pretty clever.
Please let me know you got them. ASAP. It's important.
I couldnt ask for a better stalker... thanks for stepping up Ram.
and M. you are so lucky... you are still in utah county... you probably already have your own ho-hum P-town stalker... just pay closer attention.
You know, I had a stalker or two in P-town. Hmmm, I didn't know it was a trend. Wish I had known how cool I was then.
Funny post, Tanya. I've also never had a stalker, nor have I ever stalked. I think the closest I ever came to stalking was in high school when I rode my bicycle down an empty highway and yelled out the name of the girl I had a crush on. If she had driven by right then, I would have ridden my bike really fast to try to catch her.
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