Okay, so I mentioned this book already. Here is a quote from the book that introduces the wounded feminine function. I hope it doesn’t ruin the rest of the book for anyone, but I love this quote.

“This dilemma can be described as the contrast between the mother complex and the mother archetype. The mother complex is that regressive part of our psychology that wants to go back to an earlier level of adaptation and be cared for by a mother who gives all and requires no effort from one. The mother complex is the art of getting something for nothing by a regression of consciousness. The mother archetype is the bounty of nature, which gives us our life and all that we need for that life and which is anyone’s legacy by the fact of being alive. The mother archetype is the art of living peaceably with the bounty of nature, which is pure gift and lies within the ecology of the natural order” (Johnson, Robert A: 61).

It totally validates something I had to learn this summer. It wasn’t the easiest thing for me to learn. This lesson included taking a step back and thinking about one of the false beliefs that I learned growing up.

Hugh Nibley gave a talk titled Work We Must, But the Lunch is Free. Prior to reading this talk I believed the lie that meeting my wants and needs was and would continue to be a struggle. I did struggle financially before finding a job in SLC last May. Up until that point I had never been so stressed in my entire life. I literally had no idea how I was going to pay rent.

I hope everyone will read Nibley's talk when they get a minute. It really is brilliant. Because I want to back up my next few thoughts, here is an excerpt from the talk.

The Two Employers
But what about those goodies that actually descend from the sky, according to the New Astronomy? They take us back to our Latter-day Saint creation story in which all the earth's food supply is indeed brought from above, as seeds of all kinds are carried down and planted in a special program of preparing the earth for its great calling. "Adam, we have created for you this earth, and have placed in it everything you could possibly need–all finished and ready for use. Help yourself–of every tree thou mayest freely eat." Was Adam idle and bored, his character undermined by such easy living? Hardly! He went happily about his work of taking good care of the place; he enjoyed frequent conversation with angels and in the cool of the evening strolls with the Lord himself–what a vast expansion of mind and spirit that evokes! And to spend one's days with a woman of infinite understanding, whom age could not wither nor custom stale, was enough to fill the days with endless delight. When Adam left the garden, he went right on with his work of cultivating the earth, himself, and his numerous posterity, engaging in the three activities which are recommended as the proper way of life to all who work in the vineyard: "Behold, I say unto you that you shall let your time be devoted to [1] the studying of the scriptures, and [2] to preaching, and to confirming the church, ... and [3] to performing your labors on the land" (D&C 26:1). Study, the work of the kingdom, and the cultivating of the soil were Adam's calling for almost a millennium–and he never got bored. Though no longer in Paradise, he enjoyed the visitation and instruction of heavenly visitors, who undertook to teach him how he was to return again to his preexistent splendor with enhanced qualifications and credentials for what lay ahead. To merit such promotion, he was to be tried and tested while he was here, and for that express purpose Adam had to come to an understanding with another type of visitor, a person of enormous ambition and cunning, who was purposely turned loose in the place to put Adam and Eve to the test. What he tempts them with is lunch. We can put the situation in terms of two employers who are competing for the services of the man Adam and his posterity, who are intentionally placed in the middle between them: on the one hand, "the devil ... inviteth and enticeth ... continually" to work for him, while on the other, "God inviteth and enticeth ... continually" to work for him (Moroni 7:12–13).

The first employer offers us lunch, and since lunch is something everybody must have, he is in a powerful position to bargain. He explains that this glorious earth is his private estate, that it all belongs to him to the ends thereof; in particular he owns the mineral rights and the media of exchange, by controlling which he enjoys the willing cooperation of the military, ecclesiastical, and political establishments, and rules with magnificent uproar. He keeps everything under tight control, though, for all the blood and horror–nobody makes any trouble in his world from the rivers to the ends thereof. Well can he ask Adam, "What is it you want?" for he claims to be the God of this World, and the Lord himself grants him the title of Prince of this World. All who are not working for him on his estate he charges with trespassing, including even heavenly messengers, whom he accuses of spying out his vast property with an eye to taking over the whole of it. But he is willing to make a deal if they have money. To have merely sufficient for your needs, however, is not what he has in mind–that would be the equivalent of the free lunch, lamely ignoring the endless possibilities for acquiring power and gain that the place offers; this developer has a vision of unlimited sweep and power?"You can have anything in this world for money!" Beginning, of course, with lunch. Because money is the only thing that will get you lunch–and since everybody must have lunch, that is the secret of his control.

This almost mystical identity of money with lunch we see in the reports of Brigham Young, Heber C. Kimball, and others of their missions in England, where people were literally starving to death in the streets, while many in the city were living in the greatest opulence. The trouble was that the poor people had to starve because they could get no money, and they could get no money because the factories were closed, and the factories were closed because of an unusually severe winter–an act of God. So there was plainly nothing to be done and no one to blame–one does not oppose the Laws of Nature and of God: There is no free lunch. Brother Kimball tells how his family in this fair land lived for weeks on boiled milkweed; they had worked very hard, but still there was no lunch for them, because the money they had saved up by their diligent toil was suddenly worthless–it is money alone that gets you lunch, mere work is not enough. Your prospective employer explains how that is: The money part is necessary to keep things under control. For the Kimballs, lunch was life itself, the bottom line of any economy. What would happen, then, if lunch was always provided free for them? Would they not lose their most immediate incentive to work–the need for lunch–money? And since money, as they tell you in Economics 101, is "the power to command goods and services," who would ever do any work again? How can you command somebody to work for you if he doesn't need your lunch? That, the shrewd employer explains, is why he must never cease reminding one and all in his domain that there is no free lunch. It is that great teaching which keeps his establishment going. "All I have to do to bring my people into line," he says, "is to ask them: 'If you leave my employ, what will become of you?' That scares the daylights out of them; from the man on the dreary assembly line to the chairman of the board; they are all scared stiff. And so I get things done."

So let us go across the road for an interview with the Other Employer. To our surprise, he answers our first question with an emphatic: "Forget about lunch! Don't even give it a thought!" "Take no thought of what ye shall eat or what ye shall drink or wherewith ye shall be clothed!" "But what will become of me then?" you ask. Not to worry, "We will preach the gospel to you, and then you will find out that lunch should be the least of your concerns." Let Brigham Young explain the situation.

We have been permitted to come here to go to school, to acquire certain knowledge and take a number of tests to prepare us for greater things hereafter. This whole life, in fact, is "a state of probation" (2 Nephi 2:21). While we are at school our generous patron has provided us with all the necessities of living which we will need to carry us through. Imagine then that at the end of the first school year your kind benefactor pays the school a visit. He meets you and asks you how you are doing. "Oh," you say, "I am doing very well, thanks to your bounty." "Are you studying a lot?" "Yes, I am making good progress." "What subjects are you studying?" "Oh, I am studying courses in how to get more lunch." "You study that? All the time?" "Yes. I thought of studying some other subjects. Indeed I would love to study them–some of them are so fascinating!–but after all it's the bread–and–butter courses that count. This is the real world, you know. There is no free lunch." "But my dear boy, I'm providing you with that right now." "Yes, for the time being, and I am grateful–but my purpose in life is to get more and better lunches; I want to go right to the top–the executive suite, the Marriott lunch." "But that is not the work I wanted you to do here," says the patron. "The question in our minds ought to be," says Brigham Young, "what will advance the general interests ... and increase intelligence in the minds of the people[?] To do this should be our constant study in preference to how shall we secure that farm or that garden [i.e., where the lunch comes from!]. . . . We cannot worship our God in public meeting or kneel down to pray in our families without the images of earthly possessions rising up in our minds to distract them and make our worship and our prayers unprofitable." Lunch can easily become the one thing the whole office looks forward to all morning: a distraction, a decoy–like sex, it is a passing need that can only too easily become an engrossing obsession. Brigham says, "It is a folly for a man to love? Any other kind of property and possessions. One that places his affections upon such things does not understand that they are made for the comfort of the creature, and not for his adoration. They are made to sustain and preserve the body while procuring the knowledge and wisdom that pertain to God and his kingdom [the school motif], in order that we may preserve ourselves, and live forever in his presence."

And about work? I once had a university fellowship for which I had to agree not to accept any gainful employment for the period of a year–all living necessities were supplied: I was actually forbidden to work for lunch. Was it free lunch? I never worked so hard in my life–but I never gave lunch a thought. I wasn't supposed to. I was eating only so that I could do my work; I was not working only so that I could eat. And that is what the Lord asks us: to forget about lunch, and do his work, and the lunch will be taken care of.

I have a good friend who I met in Cedar City who helped me through this small stretch of stress. She was totally living a life in tune with the principles discussed in Nibley's talk. This friend had spent an extra month or so in Cedar City living rent-free. She tried to pay rent but was told, 'no, keep the money. You can use it to help someone who might need it'. When my friend realized my situation she sent the extra my way. I remember her saying, ‘I don’t need that much. Pay me back when you can.” I was able to pay her back at the end of summer when I had the means and when she actually really needed it.

Not only will I always remember this persons kindness, but I have a real life example and belief in the bounty of nature... that the natural world (or he who created it) is to be trusted... there is no reason to fear… he will always come through.

The fear that people have... a fear that causes people to horde... to work jobs they hate... comes from the false belief that nature will not provide... If anyone believes that God wants us to have joy, and that he wants us to fulfill the measure of our creation, they should also believe that this includes the time spent sweating by the brow, which is 60%-75% of our lives.

This summer I volunteered with the IRC developing a new youth program with refugees. Most of my family did not understand why I would work for free. They continually suggested other avenues to fulfill my internship requirement that would include a paycheck. I am so glad I did not listen.

Before I moved to SLC I decided that in order to make it financially working part-time I needed to make X amount an hour. I took that information to my maker and felt like it was going to work out. I did have a financial crisis before finding a job, as mentioned above, but the job that I found met my needed requirements.

UTA created a part-time driver position. The union actually really fought it thinking that UTA would replace full time drivers with cheaper non-insured part-time drivers... I was the first ever part-time UTA driver. I was making enough money to survive and was able to volunteer with the IRC the rest of the time.

Contrary to the beliefs passed down to me from my parents, I was able to enjoy my labor and trust that everything else would work out. It is possible to live your dreams. It is also good to be in a position to help others when they are in a pinch and putting trust in true principles.